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Bella, a bored teenage girl, falls in love with the mysterious Edward, who turns out to actually be an old man. And that’s not even the worst part of this story. During four extremely long films, you will follow the brat summers of Bella. Not in the Charlie XCX brat summer sense, mind you, but in the literal sense of Bella being a brat during summers. Ah, women, they’re all the same! They pretend to be suicidal, they rot in their chair looking away whilst listening to sad music, they marry and get pregnant at 18. And that’s not even the worst part of this story. The old man, Edward, is also typical despite being a vampire. He is controlling, pretends to be sad to get what he wants, thinks his dick is so big he breaks the bed, takes your passport and force you to go to Rio for some reasons. And that’s not even the worst part of this story. The worst part is not even the bad CGI of Renesmee, or even the fact that Renesmee even exists. No, the worst part is this fucking useless of man that is Jacob. This character is so annoying that it will make you want to throw things at your TV (some advice on that: send a sock at the TV, even if it might fall into a cat’s water bowl, rather than any hard objects.) Be mindful, you might be with friends who are blinded by Jacob’s abs, and as much as you like it when they scream “take off your shirt”, their blindness to the terrible behaviour of this man might increase your blood pressure.